


i see my life in reverse and it scares me inside

by broadway_hufflepuff



Series: "I guess I just needed my brother." [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Damon Salvatore, Blood Drinking, Brothers, Damon Salvatore Needs a Hug, Damon Salvatore is a Good Bro, Drinking, Gen, Hurt Stefan Salvatore, Mentioned Elena Gilbert, Mentioned Klaus Mikaelson, Minor Elena Gilbert/Stefan Salvatore, Protective Damon Salvatore, Ripper Stefan Salvatore, Season 3, Spoilers, Stefan Salvatore Needs a Hug, Stefan Salvatore needs help, Swearing, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24971506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadway_hufflepuff/pseuds/broadway_hufflepuff
Summary: "And yeah, Klaus was compelling me. But I still did it. I still… murdered them."Or, Stefan needs some serious help after Klaus compels him.
Relationships: Damon Salvatore & Stefan Salvatore, Elena Gilbert/Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert/Stefan Salvatore
Series: "I guess I just needed my brother." [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891285
Kudos: 43





	i see my life in reverse and it scares me inside

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I'm kinda obsessed with TVD now? I wanted to write this missing scene between Stefan and Damon because Stefan needs help after his ripper era Season 3 with Klaus. I'm sure more fics will come from this show once I continue watching. The title is from the song "Song for the Waiting" by Aron Wright.  
> These characters belong to "The Vampire Diaries.  
> Per usual, please do not repost!
> 
> ******TRIGGER WARNINGS******  
> Mentions of murder/blood drinking because they're vampires  
> Self-hatred  
> Guilt  
> Blaming
> 
> **If you feel these topics may trigger you, please don't read, because mental health is very important to me!
> 
> And remember, you matter! <3

“Stefan?” Damon poked his head into the living room, blue eyes electric with mockery. “Come on, now. If you’re going to drain another person dry, you don’t have to hide it from me.”

The room remained silent. Damon frowned, heading straight towards the table he kept his liquor on. “So, I’ll just drink alone, then?” quipped Damon, to the still house. 

“You do that,” Stefan said from behind, leaning against the door frame. His eyebrows are furrowed, as though he’s lost in thought. “Have fun.” 

Damon smirked. “What was the afternoon snack today, brother? Sorority girl or soccer mom?”

Stefan’s body went rigid, loose hands clenching into fists. 

Taking a sip from his glass, Damon raises a dramatic eyebrow. “Ooh, touchy subject?”

“Leave it alone, Damon.”

“Or _what_? You’ll run off with Klaus and continue your journey towards darkness? Yeah, I don’t think so.” 

Stefan growled and flashed across the room, grabbing Damon by the collar. He slams him against the wall, seething. “ _You don’t know what it’s like.”_

Damon shoves Stefan backwards, leaving himself room to sneak away from the railing. “What’s your problem?”

“What’s my _problem?_ My _problem_ is that I’ve lost _everything!_ And you’re being a dick about it all, and you think- I don’t even know what the hell you think, Damon! You think I don’t feel remorse for any of this? Because I do. Okay? I’m losing my fucking mind over here. Or whatever’s left of it. Klaus took everything from me. You don’t even _care.”_ Stefan’s eyes burned with pain, face screwed up in an expression Damon had only seen him wear once or twice. “I’ve killed people. Innocent. People. And yeah, Klaus was compelling me. But I still did it. I still… _murdered them._ He made me-” Stefan’s eyes fluttered quickly, as though he was trying to repress the memory. “He made me make those people _suffer.”_

Damon swallowed, face suddenly serious. “Stefan, that wasn’t you. You ate bunnies for half of your life to refrain from human blood- this is _Klaus’_ fault. Not _yours.”_

Stefan’s mouth twisted. “He made me hurt Elena, Damon. _Elena…”_ Stefan’s voice broke off, and he stopped trying. Trying to stand tall, to act like he didn’t care, to act like he was _fine._ His knees hit the floor with a crack, and he brought his head towards them, stifling sobs. 

Damon almost dropped his glass. “This is good, okay? I mean. Not that he made you hurt Elena, that’s bad, but- see this? You’re not lost, Stefan. You turned the switch back on.”

Stefan shook his head. “It _hurts_ me. Too much pain. I killed them.”

Damon lowers himself next to the floor. “No one’s blaming you.”

 _“I’m_ blaming me.”

“Don’t,” Damon said warningly, eyes firm. He sighs. “Look. I know I haven’t been- the best. Especially due to the circumstances and whatever the hell is going on with Elena. But… you shouldn’t have gone with Klaus. For that cure. For _me._ I don’t deserve it.”

Stefan glanced up. “You’re my brother.”

“I appreciated it, really. But you can’t do these things for me, not when you so clearly can’t handle the outcome.” Damon’s words weren’t harsh, but his grip on Stefan’s shoulder tightened. “I don’t mean that to be- what did you call me?” He smirks. “Oh. Right. A dick. However, Elena needs you here.”

“You expected me to just let you die?” A hint of anger crept into his brother’s voice.  
Damon sighed. “I didn’t expect any of this. I just want you to go back to eating healthily- without having to squeeze the entire skinbag dry.”

Stefan rolls his eyes. “It’s going to take a lot.”

“Well. We’re immortal, Stefan. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments/kudos make my day!


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